It is December. December. And you know what, this is usually my favorite month. Why? Coz it is my birthday month & Christmas.
Last year this time I was so overwhelmed with medical appointments and legal commitments related to the MVA that gifted me with my brain injury, I was barely keeping my head above water. I remember deciding I wasn't going to try to celebrate my birthday and would instead defer it to February when I thought life would slow down.
My birthday gift and celebration was going to start with a much deserved artist consult with the amazing DazedandConfucius.com . But then 2020 happened....and February became the month that we had emergency surgery to remove Freds spleen, & I canceled any celebration intent on taking it up at a later date. Then there was the beginning of Covid, then more medical and legal shenanigans for months on end, then as we were finding balance again there came Fred's unexpected diagnosis and we were rushing to turn back the clock, start chemo and jam pack a lifetime of love into 4 weeks. But then we were losing Fred, and grieving and grieving....and on and on and on it went.
Which is how it comes to be that my 44th birthday is bearing down on me and I never really made time to mark the arrival of my 43rd birthday. I'm so tired of this year and still feel like I am still checking off tasks from a year ago...falling behind on all my plans and commitments.
But losing Fred has made me realize how important it is to celebrate the special moments...we celebrated every single one of his birthdays..and those memories are pure gold. Carmela's birthday was last month and there have been many things that have gotten in the way of celebrating her birthday....and I am kicking myself for not getting to it
It is December....and I think this December I am going to find a way to celebrate Carmela turning 7, my turning 44, Miguel joining our family, the hubby making it successfully through the launch of his small company @StillCreekSoap....and Christmas....and maybe even New Year. Fingers and toes crossed. I'm going to ask you all to hold me to this.
Oh yeah...also I drew a polar bear. It seemed December appropriate.