Last week on @threads , I saw a question that @luvvie posed. She asked " What about your life right now, would make kid you go "wowww we did it!"? ".....and my answer surprised me.
The impulse was to think accomplishments that met my financial & physical needs while ensuring my safety,were it. But when I thought about it....really thought about it, I realized kid me wouldn't be wowed by that. Because of circumstances beyond my control, kid me believed early on that I was solely responsible for meeting these needs. I couldn't rely on others to do it for me. I've always expected that I soley would be on top of making sure those physical, financial, safety and security needs were met. So really, young me wouldn't be wowed that I owned my own home, was relatively financially secure, had eliminated as many threats to safety that were in my control. She would just shrug her shoulders and say "That was our baseline expectation of you". Heck, I've had a job since I was 13 and became relatively self sufficient as a teenager.
When I thought about it some more, I realized what kid me would be wowed by were the things that I was doing to meet my emotional needs. My real emotional needs. The ones I ignored so I could do the things I needed to make sure I was financially secure, physically cared for and relatively safe. She would be wowed that I had reached a point in my life where I could care for that part of me. The part that needs joy, comfort and peace.
And you know the first thing that leaped into my mind...kid me would be absolutely overjoyed that I have not 1...but 2 dogs. She would be ecstatic about it. The number of times I wished I could have my own pet that no one would ever take away from me...the number of stray neighborhood dogs I used to befriend back home in Kenya...it all seemed like such an impossible dream and desire at that time.
She would have been absolutely shocked that I had worked for over a decade in Vet Medicine and routinely snuggled and kissed on my patients. She would probably grin at the idea that I barely recognize any of my neighbors or know their names...but know every single dog by sight and name in our entire complex.
She would be sure I had hit the big times being able to have 2 pups full time that get to do whatever they want. That I indulge in all the snuggling, kissing and playing I could ever want with them. That I love on them as much as I would have wished to be loved on....and in return they grant me all this joy, comfort, peace and the privilege of being their guardian for life. This my friends is the big life in kiddo me's perspective. Now excuse me while I go track down Ms. Carmela and sing to her....she loves it when I sing this Louis Jordan song "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby"....
Here is a drawing for tax
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