That damn toilet paper roll

This thing....this thing just makes my blood boil. When I see this thing...English just vanishes from my vocabulary....and the African in me emerges....and all a sudden I am uttering cuss' and phrases even I don't have a full understanding of......and the dogs run away...because they are just as smart as I was as a child when I heard my parents throw these phrases out. The fact that this thing sitting on the toilet paper roll...this one square of paper desperately hanging on....does not qualify as a reason NOT TO CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER....this is going to be the death of Gordon Birchmore....death by angry African woman. That is all.