The "BANKY" Creed

Dis is mah BANKY. Dhere are many like it at IKEA, but dis one is mine.

Mah BANKY is mah bestest friend. It is mah life. I must master it as I must master mah obedience trainin'

Mah BANKY whidout me, is useless. Whidout mah BANKY, I is useless. I must noms on my BANKY true. I must cover my daddy, sister and mamah with it. I must chomp dem thru it before they can get me. I will...

Mah BANKY and I know dhat what counts in BANKY war is not how much of dah enemy we cover, de noise of mah bark, or de smell of my toots. We know dhat it is the head butts and play bites dhat count...

Mah BANKY is important, because it is mah life. Dhus, I will learns it as a brudder. I will learns its weaknesses, its strenghtes, its parts, its assessories, its sights and its weave. I will keep mah BANKIE smelly and drooly, even as I am smelly and drooly. We will become part of each other....We willlsss....

Before de Maker of Treats, I swear dis creed. My BANKY and I are de defenders of dah couch. We are de masters of our enemies (especially dat little long dog Carmela). We is de saviors of de living room.

So be its, until victory or dinner time.