Ohhhhh...the pain of dealing with a new child

Let me start this off by saying I love my new child...adore her really...truth be told I'm probably playing favorites when I really shouldn't be...coddling the new baby. Like a proud new mama, I have been showing her off to everyone....heck I even bought her a new bag so she can ride along comfortably with me where ever I go. Look at her...ain't she the prettiest thing you ever did see? (shhhh...don't tell the other kids I said that)

She is a gorgeous piece of machinery isn't she? If Zee was a lady she would be sundress wearing, pompadour stylin, pin up of a gal. All that retro goodness just makes me want to smile all the time...sigh...correction to that last statement...she makes me want to smile SOME of the time.....the rest of the time...welllllll....(insert eye roll, hair pulling, dramatic face).

Lemme tell you...awesome though she may be this child is nothing like my other kids. The boys are easy...straight forward...I've known them for years and when I want them to do a job.....well, they do it. No questions asked...no fuss no muss, the Jeffs and Freds of my world will behave predictably every single time, and I will get the capture I am looking for. Ollie on the other hand is newer to me....so when we go out to do our thing she patiently lets me fuss with her for a second or two before I settle down and capture my image. But that child Zee...oh that child Zee...she is THE trouble child...the kind that makes me want to pull my hair out.

I knew there would be a steep learning curve with her. She was after all a very new way of doing things. I've been used to the Olympus system and layout for over 4 years now and I don't even think when my fingers move on Fred/Jeff (get your minds out of the gutter) to make the adjustments necessary to capture what I am looking for. I forgot how hard it is to adopt a new system! Now with this new baby I have to pause and think, and fuss and think, and adjust and think, and contort and think. Lawd Jesus but she requires a heck of a lot of patience on my part.

And that isn't all....heck no! I'd be fine with learning how to do things a new way. Challenge though that may be, I would have sucked it up and been fine with it. But no, Zee has to make it harder...temperamental little thing...just when I think I have her sussed out she likes to have a fit and flip out exactly when I need her to act predictably. How? Well let me tell you a little story...

So I've started working on a project called FaCeS (I'll tell you all about it in the next blog entry). Coles notes version - I approach random folk on the street with distinct and interesting faces and ask to photograph them. And Zee is supposed to play a staring role in this adventure. She gets to capture all the FaCeS as she rides along with me everywhere. So of late I've taken to pulling Zee out...going through and adjusting the necessary settings....taking test shots...a practice run really to ensure she will perform how I want her to before I approach a potential FaCeS subject. Next I walk up to a stranger, introduce myself and beg/plead/grovel/whatever-is-neccesary-to-convince-them to let me photograph their captivating face. So far people have been lovely and said yes (shout out to the lovely Amanda and Ingrid who were among my first subjects). Then I haul out Zee...drum roll please....up to my face she goes.....annnnnnndddd....major hissy fit.

Yup....she full on throws a tizzy....I go to take the shot and when I chimp what do I see.... not what I told her to do! Seriously!!! This isn't that hard Ms. Zee....I tell you what to do and you should follow instructions...but no...she decides at the last minute that the accidental tap of my finger on the exposure compensation dial on the way to the shutter release button gives her permission to over expose my shot by a full stop...or she suddenly decides that under no circumstances will I be able to move her auto focus point when it was perfectly possible to move it five seconds ago....grrrrrrrr. I KNOW I KNOW.....sounds like grumble, grumble, technical nonsense, grumble....all you need to know is that this child is acting a fool when she should be behaving herself...translation... flailing screaming two year old in the middle of grocery store aisle.

And what am I doing while said hissy fit is going on? I'm trying to continue to act professional....project that I know what I'm doing (pfft, yeah right)....smile at my poor subject who I am imposing on to do me, a stranger, the massive favor of capturing their likeness. I swear I feel like that parent at the grocery store trying to keep their cool when all they wanna do is yell “Zee Musa you better get your behind up and off that ground before I give you a real reason to be wailing and screaming!”

So yeah, this child...this child is gonna be the death of me. She has a knack for throwing a fit when I need her to behave...and then after the fact innocently points out to me that if I knew her better she wouldn't have to act out at inopportune moments like she does. Saints preserve us....if this pretty sassy mouthed girl didn't do such a brilliant/amazing job when she behaved, she would end up up under the business end of my hammer. …

...rant complete...thank you for listening.